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Once again, Trowa had mysteriously disappeared for the evening. He had done this almost every night during the month or so we had been staying at this safehouse. At first, I asked where he was going. He always had some plausible explanation. At first I believed him, but after a while I stopped asking, and he stopped trying to lie. It's none of my business, anyway. He can do what he wants, and he certainly doesn't have to report back to me. It's not like we're anything more than friends. I know he can take care of himself. He has for all his life, after all. I'm not sure why I care.
No, there's no sense lying to myself. I know exactly why I worry about him. I... I think I love him. I know, it's wrong, it's forbidden, I've heard all that before. But I can't help myself. I've never been attracted to girls, never. I guess it comes from having all those sisters, I don't know. I wasn't really sure about myself, until I met Trowa. One look at that tall, mysterious boy stepping out of his Gundam to surrender to me; that was all it took. I was sure, and I was in love.
Through everything, I became more sure of my love for Trowa. For a while, it was very simple: I just needed to be near him. That was enough. But lately, I've had these feelings. I'm sure it is just my body's awakening hormones, but I want more. I want to touch Trowa, and have him touch me. I've had these dreams, dreams that leave me either incredibly aroused or with wet sheets. Dreams in which Trowa does all sorts of things... I've done some research, and I know about some of the things boys can do with each other. As I learn more, my dreams get more vivid. I want Trowa to do all those things to me. I want to feel him...
I want to tell Trowa how I feel! But I don't know how. We've been good friends, comrades, we've fought side by side. But he's never given me any indication he returns my feelings. If I told him what I dream... he would probably be disgusted. Even if he did like boys, why would he want me? I'm small, pale, and so much weaker than any of the other pilots. Nothing like Duo, so beautiful with all that hair. Or Heero, with that body and the intensity smoldering in his eyes. Or even Wufei, darkly exotic and determined. And Trowa... oh, Trowa, with your amazing emerald eyes, that slim body that I dream of. Listen to me, I sound like a lovesick girl. That's what I should have been born as, probably; a girl. Then I could at least pretend to be normal when I stare at Trowa, wishing he would wear something other than that turtleneck so I could feast my eyes on that body.
I look in the mirror in disgust. Yes, I should have been a girl. Then I wouldn't have to pretend to be something I'm not. With my delicate features and long blond hair, I bet it wouldn't take much to pass for a girl. I wonder if Trowa would like me then? I have a wicked thought. Well, I'm all alone in the house. It's one of my family's houses, so there should be some of my sisters' stuff here. I'm bored, so why not? I giggle as I go search.
After a while, I've gathered what I think I will need. I lock my door, even though no one is home. I've watched my sisters often enough to know how this is done. After about an hour, I study myself in the mirror, and even I am amazed.
I'm wearing a light blue miniskirt, and a matching blue midriff top that is loose enough to disguise the fact that I have no chest. The skirt and top don't meet, and the eyes are drawn to my flat stomach instead. I'm wearing a garter belt and sheer stockings. The hair on my legs is so light that you can't see it. And I'm wearing white sandals with a bit of heel. I've curled my hair slightly, and put on just enough makeup to enhance my features. Even I am stunned at the effect. I make quite a pretty girl. I spin around in front of the mirror and admire myself. I need a 3-way mirror, I decide, so I can see the whole outfit. Opening the door, I listen carefully for a while to be sure no one has come home. Then I set off in search of a larger mirror, skipping through the halls. Maybe I'm getting into this girl thing a bit too much.
I find a mirror, finally, and admire myself for a while. I'm getting bolder, getting used to the dress. It's actually quite comfortable. I had to put on girl's underwear, too, because my usual boxers would have been too long for the skirt. I take a shortcut through the living room on my way back to my room. Something catches my eye as I go past. Today's newspaper lies open on a table, left there by Duo, no doubt. I see an advertisement for a male stripper show. I am intrigued. I always wanted to go to something like that, just to see if I was really... different... or if it was just Trowa. But they only allow women in those shows. This was my chance! I could go, and test my feelings. Am I attracted to all men, or just Trowa? This was my chance to find out. Ninmu ryoukai, as Heero would say. I call a cab.
The taxi arrived, right on schedule. The driver called me miss, so far so good. I sat in the back of the cab, feeling excited about my deception. At the club, a bribe was all that was needed to get in, despite the fact that I was underage. I settled myself at a table near the stage. The show was about to start. It was amazing how people automatically accepted me as a girl, without looking too closely. I guess people see only what they want to see. Looking deeper might complicate things. I ordered a drink, but didn't drink too much of it. I wanted to keep my senses about me, and besides, I really didn't want to deal with the ladies bathroom!
The lights dimmed, and sensual music began. I didn't know what to expect, and my mouth dropped open as the first man came out on stage. He was dressed as a cowboy, complete with hat and boots. Not for long, though, for as he began to dance, he slowly removed each item of clothing, throwing some at the girls in the audience. He was very well built, as was revealed when his shirt came off. It was a good thing it was dark, because I started to blush when he unbuttoned his pants. I wanted to drop my eyes, but I forced myself to look as he deliberately wiggled out of his jeans. I thought of Trowa and what he would look like, wiggling out of his jeans. I blushed some more, and felt myself start to get aroused. I wasn't sure if it was the man taking off his clothes in front of me, or the fact that my mind persisted in supplying me with images of Trowa doing the same thing. Several more handsome men wiggled their way across the stage in front of me, and I was shocked again to see the women wave dollar bills in the air. The dancers would come to them, and the women would shove the money in the waistband of whatever the dancers were wearing! Most of the women would get a kiss in return. There was a bit of disappointment, though; the men didn't actually strip all the way, only down to a g-string. Part of me, the part that was slowly rising in my lacy underwear, was disappointed. Part of me, though, was glad, as if seeing a man completely naked would somehow be cheating on Trowa. I had to admit, though, I was enjoying the show. It was with some disappointment that I realized the finale was being announced. Some of the women had obviously seen the show before, and began cheering. The final dancer must be something special.
The lights dimmed even more, a new song started and a spotlight lit the back of the stage. The crowd hushed as the curtain was drawn back and a form, all in black, with his back to the audience, was revealed. He began to move to the music, and I reflected that this man had possibly the nicest ass I had ever seen, next to Trowa of course. I could tell, because this ass was practically poured into the tightest pair of black leather pants I had ever seen. The dancer spun around, with his face still in shadow. He was wearing a short black mesh top under a short leather jacket. He seemed quite tall. Black leather boots completed the outfit. For some reason, the sight of this dancer, still fully dressed, caused me to get completely hard. It was a good thing I was sitting down. I didn't know if I could hide a hard-on under a miniskirt or not!
He danced to the music, slowly removing the jacket. This man had to be a trained dancer; his moves were fluid and graceful. Dropping the jacket, he revealed a very well-developed chest and arms. After a few more agonizing minutes, during which I found I was holding my breath, he dropped his hands to his pants. He squatted down, grasping the legs of his pants, and with a sudden motion ripped them completely away. The crowd gasped as he tossed the pants away and danced away from us again. At this point I was so hard I was trying to rub myself under the table. Why did he have this effect on me?
Now, the dancer had on only his mesh shirt and a g-string. We were treated to an extended view of his firm ass as he danced around the stage. I admit I hadn't really looked much at his face since he started removing his clothes, but I looked up as he came to the center of the stage again. He performed another dramatic rip and the shirt was gone. I looked at his face and nearly fainted. It was Trowa!
I nearly gasped. I had been so busy staring at his body that I never looked at his face. The hair was slightly different, and he was wearing makeup, but I knew that face. Of course, I had never seen this much of his body. And an incredible body it was. Trowa, my Trowa! A male stripper?
I was torn! I was incredibly turned on by seeing Trowa dancing up there virtually naked, but I was also jealous, because all these women were looking at Trowa too. Not only were they looking, they were... they were touching my Trowa! Putting money down his pants! I did notice, however, that Trowa wouldn't kiss them, no matter how much they tried, or how much money they stuffed down his g-string. Before I realized what I was doing, I had taken out a large bill and was waving it in the air like I had seen the other women do. I just wanted to see him more closely. Trowa was making the rounds, and eventually he came to my table. My heart was pounding a mile a minute as he came nearer.
Finally, he stood before me in all his glory. It was still relatively dark off the stage, and I knew he couldn't see me clearly. I saw him frown slightly when he looked at me. My hands shook as I tried to stuff the money in his g-string like I had seen the other girls do, but I couldn't manage it. Trowa smiled gently and guided my hand. When he touched my hand, however, he frowned more and looked more closely at me. Did he recognize me? My heart stood still. Trowa was absolutely gorgeous, practically naked, sweaty and moving to the music in front of me. I looked up at him... and he grabbed my hand and pulled me close against him.
I gasped and tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let me. Trowa looked at me and his emerald eyes widened in shock as he felt my hardness against his naked thigh. His lips moved but I couldn't hear what he was saying. Then he smiled and pulled me up onto the stage with him.
The crowd cheered as Trowa dragged me into the spotlight. He began to dance in front of me, while still holding my hands. Then he deliberately rubbed up against me, and whispered in my ear, "Dance with me, little one. I'll keep your secret if you keep mine." With that, he rubbed his g-string against my stomach so I could feel his hardness too. "And by the way, you look beautiful," he added.
Trembling with shock, I let Trowa dance me around the stage. Slowly I began to enjoy dancing up there with him. I forgot my inhibitions and let myself go. The crowd had no idea it was two boys dancing on the stage. They thought it was a great show and cheered us on. Apparently you can hide a hard-on under a miniskirt.
I felt disappointed when the music finished, but Trowa smiled at me and whispered, "Stay." He took his bow, and pulled me backstage with him.
When we were off the stage, I started to say something, but Trowa put a finger to his lips and shook his head. He led me to a room, his dressing room obviously, and pulled me inside. Then he turned around and looked at me. Trowa looked even more gorgeous close up, if that was possible. He was still dressed in only a g-string, and still obviously aroused, as was I. I found I couldn't speak.
Trowa came closer. I opened my mouth but nothing would come out. Trowa smiled gently and traced the line of my cheekbone with a finger. "So beautiful, my Quatre," he whispered. Then he kissed me.
The kiss was everything I had ever dreamed of. Trowa's lips were soft and sweet. He opened my mouth gently with his tongue and slipped it inside. I lost myself completely; the only things that mattered were Trowa's mouth, and his body pressed against mine. I slipped my hands around Trowa's neck. Trowa's hands held my face; then they began to touch me everywhere. My hair, my neck, my shoulders, my back; Trowa's hands worked their way downward. They stopped at my hips, and Trowa broke the kiss. He whispered in my ear, "I love you this way, Quatre, but you didn't have to dress up to catch my eye. You turn me on all by yourself, do you know that?" I shook my head negatively, and he ground his hips into me so I could feel exactly how turned on he was. I moaned. "I've wanted you for a long time, little one, but I didn't think you returned those feelings."
I finally found my voice. "Oh, Trowa, I've wanted you since I first saw you! But I didn't want to disgust you."
Trowa actually looked shocked. "Disgust me? You, my beautiful angel? Nothing you could do would ever disgust me."
"Oh, Trowa!" I cried and kissed him as hard as I could. Trowa kissed back just as hard and pressed the length of his body to mine. I moaned into his mouth as he ground his hips against me. Then I felt his hand underneath my skirt.
Trowa's hand crept upward and he caught my eyes with his own. "Is this ok?" he asked softly.
I nodded, and moaned as I felt his hand continue upwards. "Do whatever you want, Trowa," I said as his hand brushed the top of my stockings.
Trowa smiled as he felt that I was wearing a garter belt. The ache between my legs intensified as Trowa's hand came nearer my hardness. "Trowa," I moaned as his fingers just touched the lace of my undergarment. "Please," I pleaded, not sure exactly what I was asking for.
Trowa's eyes widened as he felt what I was wearing. Then he guided me back against the wall and captured both my hands with his free hand. Then he pulled my hands up my head; I was pinned to the wall. Then Trowa's other hand continued its explorations.
I felt deliciously vulnerable, trapped against the wall by Trowa's strength, his hand touching me where no one had ever touched before. Trowa traced the outline of my erection through the lace panties, and I gasped at the sensation. I was so hard the tip of my arousal was poking out the top of the panties. Trowa touched the tip and could feel the wetness there. He smiled. "Do you like this, angel?" he asked, knowing the answer full well.
I moaned again, pushing my hips forward wantonly, wanting more contact with Trowa's hand. Trowa responded by sliding his hand inside the panties and grasping my length. I gasped again as Trowa squeezed me gently, and couldn't stop myself from thrusting forward into his hand. Trowa smiled as he felt my desperation. "This is your first time, little one?" I nodded in answer. "Then I am going to make sure you never forget this." The tone of his voice made me shiver with anticipation.
Trowa lowered my hands and led me over to the only chair in the room. He pushed me gently into the chair. Then he kneeled in front of me. Gently pushing my trembling legs apart, he pushed himself between them. Then he began to push my skirt up again. I moaned as he let his fingers brush the inside of my thighs as he raised my skirt. Finally, my skirt was around my waist and I was exposed to Trowa's emerald eyes. I was so hard, the pressure was painful. I wanted Trowa to touch me so badly but I thought I might explode if he did. Trowa teased me by just looking at me hungrily for a moment, leaving me open and vulnerable. Then Trowa slowly undid the straps on my garter belt. He gently inserted a finger into the top of my panties and stopped. He looked up at me. I gazed down at him.
Trowa whispered, "What do you want, Quatre?"
I panted, "Oh, Trowa, touch me, do anything you want!"
Trowa smiled and said, "Your wish is my command, little one," and he pulled off my lacy panties in one pull, without taking off my stockings. "I think we'll leave those on for the moment," Trowa continued, and refastened the garters holding them up.
Now I was completely exposed to Trowa's hungry eyes, naked and aroused in front of someone for the very first time. Not only naked and aroused, but Trowa now lifted my legs to the arms of the chair, spreading them apart even further. This turned me on even more, so now I was biting the back of my hand to keep from crying out.
"You are so beautiful, my angel, you make me want to ravish you all night," Trowa said. "You turn me on so much." Trowa indicated the fact that his hardness was also trying to escape its confinement.
I bit my lip as I gazed at Trowa. Trowa caught my eyes and kept my gaze locked to his as he raised my shirt up to my neck. Then he lowered his head and his tongue flicked out over one nipple. I gasped at this touch and my hips thrust involuntarily upwards. My arousal stiffened even more as he continued his assault upon one, then the other nipple. The he began to work his way downward. I threw my head back and closed my eyes as Trowa kissed dangerously near my most sensitive region. Then came the moment that I first felt his tongue on my rock hard erection.
I started moaning uncontrollably as I felt that hot wetness envelop me. Sensations beyond belief assaulted my arousal as Trowa slowly took me in. Oh god, I had never imagined anything could feel this good, ever. I bucked wildly into Trowa's talented mouth, and he took it all easily. I must have screamed, because I felt as if my lower body was on fire; a fire of passion and ecstasy. All sensation became concentrated on that one point; and when Trowa slid his hands up to toy with my nipples again I could take it no longer. With a scream, I emptied myself into Trowa's willing mouth. Wave after wave of pleasure washed over me as Trowa sucked me dry. I lay there panting, and Trowa gathered me into his arms.
I looked up at Trowa; I had never seen anything as beautiful as him. Flushed from desire and exertion, he looked like a god as he held me. I looked up at him. He smiled when I said, "I want more."
"Anything for you, angel," he answered, then he looked serious. "Do you trust me, Quatre?"
"Of course," I answered breathlessly.
"Then let me show you how I feel," Trowa answered and he kissed me deeply. Then he settled me back on the chair and went to retrieve a small tube from a drawer.
I looked up at Trowa apprehensively as he approached me again. "What's that?" I asked him, though I had an idea.
"Lubrication," Trowa answered, "So I don't hurt you. I would die before I hurt you."
"I know," I answered. "That's why I trust you, Trowa." This made him smile, and he stood in front of me and removed his g-string. I licked my lips hungrily as Trowa was finally revealed to me completely. His arousal stood large and straight up, proof of his desire for me. Once again he kneeled in front of me. He leaned forward and captured my mouth hungrily. As he invaded my mouth with his tongue, I also felt his lubricated finger enter me. I gasped as I felt Trowa's finger inside me, and moaned when he added another. Trowa then looked in my eyes as he added a third finger. When Trowa moved his fingers, I felt something so intense it caused me to cry out.
"I think you're ready," Trowa said. I felt bereft when his fingers left me, but I soon felt something larger and hotter pressed against my opening. I felt a bit apprehensive. I had seen the size of Trowa's manhood, and it was a lot larger than three fingers. Trowa saw the look on my face and whispered, "Don't worry, my angel. I want you so much, but I won't hurt you." Then he entered me.
I felt like I was being split apart with a red hot sword, yet it felt so good I wanted more. Trowa pushed deeper, and lifted my legs up over his shoulders. With that change of angle, I suddenly felt that incredible sensation again. Trowa's hardness brushed against something inside me that made all previous sensation feel mundane. I thrust forward against Trowa, and suddenly he was buried to the hilt. He paused to let me adjust. The feeling of being completely filled was so perfect, so right, so intense. Trowa was breathing hard and I could tell it was all he could do to keep from pounding me roughly. I tried to tell him I was ok, that he could take me harder, but all that came out was a pleading moan.
"What do you want, Quatre?" Trowa's voice, full of passion, was the most incredible thing I had ever heard. His voice was full of desire, and I knew that all that existed for him right then was me. I felt the same way about him, and I wanted to tell him that.
I tried again, and I managed to say, "Please, Trowa, I need you to take me. Fill me, fuck me, please!" I begged.
At my words, Trowa closed his eyes and threw his head back. Then, with a sexy growl, he proceeded to claim me. He pulled out slowly, nearly all the way, then pushed back inside a little faster. With each stroke he increased his pace until he was slamming into me so hard the chair rocked beneath us. And with each stroke, Trowa brushed against the spot that made me scream. I didn't think it could get any better, when Trowa reached between us and began pumping my throbbing arousal. I was catapulted to a new level of ecstasy and I released my passion while screaming Trowa's name. Trowa must have been holding back for me because as soon as I came, he climaxed as well, pumping hard into me one last time and saying my name.
I couldn't have moved if there had been a fire. Trowa withdrew gently and held me in his arms. He smoothed my sweat-soaked blond hair and kissed my forehead gently. "That is how much I love you, my Quatre."
I looked up at my handsome knight, and snuggled against him. "I love you too, Trowa."