* * * * * * * * * * *

Harry knew it wasn't right, but he couldn't help himself.

Thinking about a person who was practically like a parent... well, thinking about them in a way he shouldn't... that was wrong, wasn't it?

Not that he'd ever really had a parent to know what it was like, but he was reasonably sure that if he asked Hermione or Ron about it they'd be horrified.

But he was just sixteen, after all, and it was pretty hard to keep his mind off things like that, especially when he was alone in the shower and he had an erection that would not go away.

Well, Harry knew how to make it go away but he was thinking about Remus and he thought maybe it wouldn't be right to think of the man while doing that.

But he couldn't help it. He slid his hand down, slick with soap, and closed his eyes as he wrapped it around his hard length. He flushed with shame even though he was all alone, but that only made it feel better as he started to stroke.

He was alone at the Dursleys, and the reason he was thinking about Professor Lupin so much was that he was going to Grimmauld Place tonight. It would be the first time he had been there since Sirius' death, and he knew it would be hard. But he was very glad to be able to spend the last few weeks of the summer there instead of Privet Drive. Professor Dumbledore was finally satisfied with the protective spells on the place now that they'd removed the last of the dark objects and Kreacher now resided in a special ward in St Mungos.

Harry still hadn't quite accepted Sirius' death, but at least at the Dursley's he'd had time alone to grieve. Whatever Remus and the others had said to his aunt and uncle, it had seemed to work; they pretty much left him alone in his room but he wasn't locked in.

The first few weeks he'd just sat around, alternately crying or raging at the world. It just wasn't fair; finally he'd got someone who cared about him and they were gone. He felt more alone than ever.

He got letters from all his friends, but usually they were too much of an effort to answer. They were cheerful, and Ron and Hermione seemed to go out of their way not to mention anything that might upset him. Harry knew they meant well, but sometimes he really wished he had someone to talk to about Sirius. Remus wrote to him, and Harry had written back immediately, asking questions about Sirius. Remus had known him best, Harry figured, and he hoped that the man would answer.

And Remus did. Perhaps sensing that Harry needed to talk about his godfather, Remus told him stories, and they wrote back and forth almost daily. Harry felt guilty for a while, making Remus relive all these things, but the man reassured him that he needed this too.

What wasn't clear to Harry, though, was just what Sirius and Remus' relationship had been. They had been best friends, but occasionally Harry got the feeling it had been more than that. He'd never heard anyone mention either Sirius or Remus having a girlfriend, and Harry thought it was odd since he had seen for himself in Snape's pensieve that his godfather had been an extremely handsome man.

Harry was beginning to suspect that he more in common with Sirius than he had thought. He had known for some time that he liked boys; he liked girls, too, but not as much. When he had kissed Cho, he had expected fireworks; but it hadn't been all that great. Not that he had anything to compare it to; he hadn't had much time for experimentation even if he'd had the nerve to kiss a boy.

That was part of the problem; when he fantasised, it was about men, not boys. Bigger, stronger, older men who could teach him everything. Sirius, Remus, and even in a moment of weakness, Snape, had appeared in his waking dreams. He wasn't really attracted to any of his schoolmates. They were all so young.

He really hoped that Remus shared his proclivities. Harry was fast becoming infatuated with the man, and now as he stood in the shower stroking himself, he was picturing Remus, his strong hands and gentle eyes all over him.

Harry leaned back against the wall, his hand moving faster, lost in his fantasy. It never took long, once he had an image in his mind, and he gave a soft cry as he imagined himself lying back on a bed, Remus over him, and that was it. He climaxed all over himself, pleasure tightening his body and making his knees weak.

As soon as he regained his wits, he finished washing and got out quickly. Remus was going to be here soon to take him to Grimmauld Place.

He couldn't wait.

+

The Dursleys were out for the evening by design, so Harry waited in the back garden anxiously. His trunk sat beside him on the ground and he clutched his broom tightly.

Right at the appointed time, a dark speck appeared in the sky and quickly resolved itself into Remus Lupin. He landed and greeted Harry quickly, telling him they needed to hurry. Remus charmed Harry's trunk and attached it to his broom while Harry mounted his. There was no time for conversation, which was fine with Harry because he was suddenly unaccountably nervous.

As they flew quickly to London, Harry reflected on just when he'd begun to feel this way about his former professor. When Remus had been teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts, Harry had still been a bit confused, so hadn't really thought of his professor like that. Harry had always liked the man, though, and enjoyed being around him. He just hadn't recognised his feelings for what they actually were. The whole year had been so intense that he'd not been able to sort his feelings out until later.

Then, when he'd seen Remus again at the beginning of last year, he most definitely knew how he felt. That was when the fantasies about older men had really begun.

As they got closer to headquarters, Harry started getting a nervous feeling in his stomach. He'd be staying at Sirius' old house, and he knew that Remus was living there as well. There would be the other members of the order as well, of course, but they would come and go. He'd get to spend lots of time with Remus. He hoped.

They landed, and made their way in; no one else seemed to be about, and Harry was secretly glad. He knew that the Weasleys and Hermione would be joining them in another week or so, but for the time being, he and Remus had the place to themselves.

Remus almost seemed apologetic about that fact.

"I'm afraid it's just you and me, Harry," he said quietly as he rummaged in the cupboard for something to eat. "I hope I don't bore you too much." The full moon had been just last week, and Remus still looked tired.

"I'm not bored, Professor," Harry assured him.

Remus smiled as he set two bowls of soup on the table. "I'm not your professor any more, Harry. Please call me Remus."

"Ok, Remus," Harry replied, smiling at the man. "I'm just happy to get out of Privet Drive."

"I bet you are," said Remus, laughing. "I'm sorry it took this long to get you out. I'm afraid I harassed Albus nearly every day until he gave in."

Remus had been the one responsible for his freedom? Harry grinned widely and said, "Thanks! I really appreciate it."

Remus sat down across from Harry and smiled, putting his hand over Harry's, as the boy's heart raced. "You deserve a bit of happiness, Harry."

Harry swallowed, his throat dry, and he dared not move lest Remus remove his hand. He nodded quickly, sure that the other man could hear his hammering heart, and tried not to blush as all the blood in his body raced to his crotch.

Remus removed his hand and began to eat, and Harry did too, though he didn't have much of an appetite any more. He managed to not spill any butterbeer down his front, though, which considering how he felt, was quite an accomplishment.

They talked while they ate; well, Remus did mostly and Harry listened. Remus told them about the house, and how they'd finally got it all cleaned out, and Harry could tell that it made him sad because it reminded him of Sirius. Once again, Harry wondered just what the two men had been to each other.

Harry caught himself in a yawn, and Remus sat back, startled. "I'm sorry, Harry, you must be exhausted, listen to me rambling on..."

"No," Harry interrupted quickly. "I liked it. I guess I'm just a bit tired."

"Let me show you to your room, then," Remus said, standing up and levitating the dishes to the sink.

"Ok," replied Harry, hoping it was close to Remus' as he followed the man up the stairs. His trunk followed obediently behind.

Remus showed him to a suite of rooms on the third floor. Harry had never seen them before, and the room looked cheerful and cosy. It connected to a good-sized bathroom and had a small balcony. "It's great," Harry said truthfully. Then, trying to sound casual, he asked, "Where's your room? Um, in case I need you or something..." he finished awkwardly. To his horror, he felt himself blushing.

Remus didn't seem to notice, though. "Oh, good idea. It's just here," he said, settling Harry's trunk down on the floor and then walking back out into the hall. "Just there," he said, pointing to a door just down the hall, on the opposite side.

"Good," Harry said faintly. He looked at the older man, only a few inches taller than him now, and suppressed an urge to just kiss him and see what happened. He didn't want to disgust Remus. He didn't even know for sure if he was gay.

"Well, sleep well, Harry," said Remus. "Let me know if you need anything." He looked at the boy for a long moment, then added softly, "I'm glad you're here."

"Thank you. Night, Remus," Harry said.

Then Remus was gone, down the hall to his own room, and Harry closed the door to his own.

He got ready for bed, trying not to imagine Remus just down the hall, probably undressing... He got into bed, trying to ignore his erection, certain he'd never be able to sleep.

He did sleep, but it seemed like only moments later he was being gently shaken, Remus' soothing voice in his ear.

"Wh-what?" stammered Harry, looking around wildly, the room indistinct without his glasses.

"Shh, Harry, it's ok," Remus murmured. Harry fumbled for his glasses, and the room came into focus. Remus sat on the edge of Harry's bed, leaning over Harry, and... Harry got instantly rock hard when he realised that Remus was wearing only pyjama bottoms. Harry tried desperately to look anywhere but at the man's bare chest and flat stomach. Harry's hormones were out of control.

He forced his eyes up to Remus' face and was surprised to see a bemused look, that was quickly replaced by a concerned one. Harry glanced down to be sure his arousal wasn't obvious; it wasn't, so he relaxed a bit.

"What happened?" Harry said more clearly, sitting up slowly. He felt rather dizzy.

"You were screaming," Remus answered. "I suspect you were having a nightmare."

"Oh, god, I'm so sorry I woke you," babbled Harry, blushing more. "I must have been awfully loud." He felt like such a child.

Remus smiled and said, "You weren't. My hearing is very sensitive. Occupational hazard of being a werewolf. I sleep lightly."

"Oh," said Harry faintly.

"Do you remember what you were dreaming about?" asked Remus carefully.

Harry thought hard, a difficult process when all he could think about was the ache in his groin. "I think it was the usual."

"The usual?" asked Remus with concern.

"Yes," said Harry, looking down at the duvet. "Voldemort. Sirius. The whole thing."

"Oh, Harry, I'm sorry," Remus said softly.

Harry suddenly realised that Remus missed Sirius as much, if not more, than he did. After all, they'd been friends, and perhaps more, for longer than he'd been alive. "I'm sorry, Remus, I'm... you miss him too."

A look of loneliness passed over the man's face and then was gone, replaced by weariness. "Yes, I do, Harry."

Harry had a wild urge to ask Remus then, to find out what really had been between him and Sirius, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he said, "Thanks for coming to check on me."

Remus smiled then, and reached out to push a strand of hair out of Harry's eyes. "Any time, Harry."

Harry smiled back, touched by the intimacy of the gesture, and rock hard once again.

Remus looked at Harry for a long moment, then shook his head as if to clear it. An indescribable look crossed his face, then he said, "Do you think you can sleep now?"

Harry looked at Remus, slightly confused by the way the man was acting, and said, "I think so."

Remus stood up then, and Harry just could not keep his eyes off the man's body. If Remus noticed, he didn't let on. "Goodnight, then, Harry."

"Goodnight," Harry replied, then Remus was gone. Leaving Harry with an aching erection once again.

+

Harry continued to have nightmares, though. It got so bad after a few days that he was almost afraid to get to sleep. He was remembering them now; the last time he'd seen Sirius alive, as he fell through the veil, haunted him.

Remus always comforted him after his nightmares, but Harry noted to his disappointment that he always wore his pyjama top as well. And he never sat too close to Harry. Harry wondered what he'd done wrong.

One night it had been particularly bad, and Harry had been so worn out he fell asleep before Remus even left. He only felt peaceful when the older man was there with him, and he couldn't stop himself from just drifting off as Remus was talking softly.

He woke with a start some time later, and knew instinctively that he wasn't alone, even before he opened his eyes.

He finally did open them, and was startled to find Remus still there, lying on his side on the bed next to him, looking at him intently.

When Remus realised that Harry was awake, he looked surprised then guilty, and started to scramble back off the bed.

"I'm so sorry, Harry, you just looked so peaceful I didn't want to disturb you by leaving..." said Remus quickly, and Harry was amazed to see that it looked like the man was blushing.

Before he realised what he was doing, Harry had moved his hand quickly to grab Remus' arm. He didn't know what was happening exactly but he knew there was something, and he didn't want it to end. He had a feeling that it he let Remus go right now that something would have slipped away, never to return. He'd never seen such an unguarded look on the man's usually composed face, and he liked the way Remus was looking at him.

"Wait. Don't go," murmured Harry, and to his surprise Remus sat back down on the bed.

"Harry, I... I should go," he said, still staring at Harry. He seemed to be looking at Harry's shoulder, and he glanced down and realised that the garment had half-unbuttoned and was hanging off his shoulder.

Harry's heart was pounding fast, and he knew this was it, this was what sexual attraction felt like, and he could feel the tension in the air. He knew with a sudden clarity that the older man wanted him, and suddenly he wasn't at all anxious any more.

"I don't want you to go," Harry said softly, sitting up and deliberately letting his top slip even further off his shoulder. Remus seemed transfixed by the boy's revealed skin, and he licked his lips.

"Harry," he began again. "I have to go. You don't know what you're... no, this isn't right."

But Harry would not let go of Remus' arm, and though the older man could easily have broken free, he didn't seem inclined to do so.

"I don't want you to go," Harry repeated firmly, and leaned closer to Remus, until they were only inches apart. Remus had a wild look on his face, and Harry knew the man was about to bolt even though he didn't want to.

"Harry," Remus said, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, "If you don't let go of me now..." he trailed off.

"What?" Harry breathed, not letting go.

Remus opened his eyes slowly, and they burned golden with the lust Harry had longed to see in them. "If you don't let go I will do something you'll regret."

"I won't regret it, and I won't let go," said Harry quietly.

Remus looked steadily at Harry for a long moment, then he closed his eyes again briefly. When they opened, Harry shivered at the intensity he could see in them. "So be it," he said, and leaned forward, brushing his lips against Harry's softly.

Harry almost didn't recognise the moan that came from his own throat, but he managed to press forward, kissing back as well as he could.

Remus growled low in his throat, and Harry got even harder. He parted his lips and almost immediately Remus' tongue delved inside.

This was so far beyond the one kiss he'd experienced that Harry couldn't even think. Remus' mouth was hot and his tongue moved expertly, and he found he was clinging to the man's shoulders without being aware he'd moved.

Remus pulled back, breaking the kiss, and it was just as well because Harry had forgotten to breathe. His eyes were dilated and he was breathing hard.

"Harry," he said, and the undertone in his voice made Harry shiver. "Do you really want this?"

"Yes," breathed Harry, moving onto his knees on the bed. "I want you."

Remus' eyes widened, and he brought one hand up to trace Harry's reddened mouth. "You can't want me."

Harry frowned. "I do," he protested.

"But why?" asked Remus, now tracing the line of Harry's jaw.

Harry tried not to shiver at the light touch. "I want you," he said deliberately, "Because you're very handsome and sexy."

Remus smiled and said, "And you are incredibly tempting." And he leaned forward and captured Harry's mouth once more in a kiss. This time, Harry moved his tongue more surely, dancing with Remus'. It felt even better than before, and Harry wiggled himself closer to the other man, pressing as close as he could.

Remus pulled back with a moan, and suddenly Harry felt himself pushed back onto the bed. He looked up to see Remus over him, straddling his hips, before that incredible mouth descended onto his once again.

And they kissed, Remus' body pressed against his, and this time Harry remembered to breathe so it seemed to go on forever. Remus broke the kiss, but didn't pull back, and Harry's mind cleared enough to realise what the bulge digging into his stomach was.

God, Remus was hard for him, and the man must be able to feel Harry's erection as well. For some reason, that made it even more real and he whimpered with need to do something, anything.

"Harry, you're so perfect," breathed Remus, and Harry loved the look on the man's face. He'd only dreamed someone would ever look at him like that, like nothing else in the world mattered but touching him.

"Remus," he breathed. "I want you..."

Remus closed his eyes, then opened them, and looked down at Harry. "I... have to ask, Harry.... Have you ever done this before?"

Harry blushed and shook his head. "No, I've only kissed, and I'm sorry I'm such a kid..."

"Harry, never apologise for being innocent," Remus said softly. "Are you sure? That this is what you want?"

"Oh yes," said Harry firmly, slightly moving his hips so that his arousal rubbed against Remus. "I'm very sure."

The moan that came from Remus then nearly made Harry climax. To know that the older man wanted him that much, that he was holding himself back.... Harry wanted Remus to lose control.

"Please, Remus," he said, rubbing his hard cock against the older man once again, and this time the man growled.

"Tell me if you want me to stop," Remus said roughly. Then he lowered himself to Harry's mouth again, savaging it, and Harry knew there was no way he would tell him to stop, ever.

Remus shifted, and suddenly he was between Harry's legs, spreading them apart with his own, and Harry gasped with sheer pleasure. Now, their hard cocks rubbed directly against each other, just a few thin layers of fabric in the way. Harry's eyes rolled back in his head at the feeling of it, so much more intense than just touching himself. He managed to look up at Remus, and Remus looked back, his own pleasure quite evident.

"Do you like that, Harry?" Remus asked breathlessly, still moving against the boy.

"Oh god yes, please don't stop," babbled Harry, arching up to meet Remus. "Feels so good..."

"You're so sensitive," hissed Remus, unbuttoning Harry's pyjama top as he continued to rock. "I bet you could come just from this."

Harry didn't doubt that at all. He nodded, then moaned anew as he felt Remus' hand exploring his chest. When the older man's fingers brushed a nipple, Harry really did scream, arching up even harder.

"God," murmured Remus, pushing open the pyjamas and reaching down to untie the drawstring on the pants. "So hot, Harry... want to touch you..."

"Please," Harry gasped, barely able to speak. He'd never felt this close, this intoxicated with need.

So Remus sat back, and Harry briefly mourned the loss of contact, until he realised his pyjama pants were being pulled off, and his arousal was completely exposed to Remus.

But he didn't have any attention to spare for modesty, as Remus' hand was quickly wrapped around his length, and as his mouth descended, Harry was transported to heaven.

It was like nothing he could have even imagined, being taken into the hot wet suction of Remus' mouth. He knew he was screaming, but he couldn't have stopped for anything, and when he looked down to see his cock disappearing into Remus' mouth, it was too much. After only a few moments, he climaxed, not even able to warn Remus before the man's mouth was filled with Harry's release.

Harry was sure he must have blacked out from the pleasure, because when he came back to himself, Remus was lying on his side beside him, smiling down at him. One of Remus' hands rested on Harry's stomach, the fingers splayed.

"I won't bother to ask how you liked that," Remus said.

"Good," sighed Harry. He wasn't sure he could form coherent words yet. Instead, he reached up and pulled Remus down by his shoulder, and kissed him again.

Remus responded immediately, and Harry was reminded that the older man hadn't yet climaxed. The thought that there was even more pleasure to be had sent a spike of arousal through him, and he felt himself starting to harden again already. He was, after all, only sixteen.

Remus rolled over on top of Harry while they were kissing, and Harry realised with a shock that at some point Remus had removed his pyjamas. Now, their hot smooth skin touched all the way down their bodies, and Harry felt a hard cock against him for the first time.

Remus' hands were everywhere, caressing Harry's skin, driving him mad. Remus released his mouth in favour of kissing elsewhere; he moved down Harry's body as if worshipping it with his mouth. Harry was soon writhing and moaning continuously, his hands touching as much of Remus as he could reach.

Harry was fully hard again, and his need was as if he'd not just climaxed. He pulled Remus' head up so he could see his eyes, and said, "Please, Remus... want you..."

Remus moved up the bed to lie beside Harry once again, and looked at him seriously. "Do you know what you're asking for, Harry? As much as I want to make love to you, there are plenty of other things we can do."

"Remus," moaned Harry. "I want everything. I'm ready."

Remus bit his lip and said, "You really don't have any idea how enticing you are, do you, Harry?" Not waiting for an answer, Remus trailed his hand lower, between Harry's thighs.

With a hitched breath, Harry spread his legs to Remus' touch, instantly. Remus slid his hand higher, over the silky-smooth skin of Harry's inner thigh, and finally brushed the cleft of his ass.

At this touch Harry cried out. "Please, Remus, touch me, want it so bad..."

Groaning, Remus said, "Turn over, then, Harry."

Harry did so, shrugging off his pyjama top as he did so, planting himself stomach-down on the bed, completely naked now. He looked behind him, wanting to see the effect he had on Remus. He wasn't disappointed.

"Fuck," whispered Remus, and Harry knew it was the first time he'd ever heard the man curse. His eyes roamed over Harry's lithe body, offered so delectably to him, and he reached out one hand and trailed it over the curve of Harry's buttocks softly.

Harry whimpered, and Remus moved so that he knelt between the boy's legs, spreading them apart. Remus leaned forward, over Harry's back, and kissed the boy's neck softly. He kissed lower, and the man's hands moved to his buttocks.

Harry moaned as he felt Remus spread him open; he felt deliciously wicked and he ached to be touched. He heard Remus summon something, then there were slick fingers touching his entrance, sliding gently inside, and he forgot how to think.

Remus moved his fingers inside Harry, stretching him carefully, and after a few minutes Harry thought he was going to die from pleasure. "That's so good..." he gasped. "More..."

Remus withdrew his fingers then, and Harry cried out in disappointment, but Remus just said in a deep rough voice that Harry had never heard before, "Turn over."

Harry did, as fast as he could, and looked up in awe at the man before him. He'd always thought Remus was handsome, but now, kneeling between his outstretched legs, erect and ready, Remus looked feral.

"Please," begged Harry. He was drawn to Remus, wanted to be as close as possible to the other man, wanted him inside.

Remus looked down at Harry for a long moment, then ran his hands up Harry's thighs, moving them up and apart, before leaning forward. He reached between them, and Harry felt the dull heat of the man's cock press against him, and then he was in, sliding in, and it hurt but it made Harry feel whole.

Then Remus was all the way inside Harry, and he had to remind himself to breathe. Remus leaned over him, murmuring, "Are you all right, Harry?"

"Yes," Harry said, putting his hands on Remus' shoulders. "It feels good."

Remus smiled at him, and said, "Just wait." And he began to move, short shallow thrusts, each one slightly longer than the last, and soon Harry was panting. Each time, Remus pushed harder, deeper, and it felt even better. He watched the man's face as he moved, and the idea that he had put that need there was almost more than he could take. So this was why people were obsessed with sex.

Remus began to move faster, and more urgently, and when he changed angle the sensation only got better. Remus' moans were incredible, almost like animal growls but he also chanted Harry's name softly. Harry himself was crying out with every thrust, and his cock ached for release once again.

Remus was pounding into Harry now, always making sure the boy was all right though Harry could tell he was close to losing control. Then the man slid his hand between them, and started stoking Harry's arousal.

Harry screamed again, body arching up involuntarily from this new feeling, and he was coming again, desperately. It was so good it almost hurt, and he dug his fingers into Remus' arms as he covered them both with his seed.

Then he watched, transfixed, as Remus let himself go, thrusting twice more into Harry, then shuddering and groaning Harry's name. Harry felt hot wetness inside him, and knew Remus had climaxed, and cried out again, complete.

Remus collapsed beside Harry, burying his face in the sheets. He mumbled, "Forgive me, Harry."

"No," Harry said clearly, and Remus raised his head in surprise. "You did what I wanted, nothing more," he added softly.

Remus pulled the boy close, and they fell asleep together, not lonely for once.